Waiting

God in my hoping

There in my dreaming

God in my watching

God in my waiting

(lyrics from Tim Hughes' Everything)

I have had a first in my life recently. I am waiting with an unsure direction or terminus. Always in life, I have waited with a specific view or goal on the other end. I waited for a school year to end for the summer, I waitied for high school to end and college to begin. I waited for college math to end so I wouldn't ever have to take math again. The list is endless.

Two weeks ago, I thought I was waiting to finish school so that I could move to Boston. Now I'm not so sure. I don't know what I am waiting on now. I only know that I am waiting. This verse above perfectly describes my location. God is there; He knows my hopes, what I'm dreaming of, he sees me watching and knows I am waiting.

Even more amazing to me, is that throught the Lord's grace, I'm not concerned that I don't know what is on the other end of this time of waiting, where I will be or what that will look like. That is so not from me. It is the exact opposite of what I do instinctively. Praising the Lord for that. I know that His plans are good, and I am enjoying this sweet time of waiting with Him.

Snow in College Station!!!

Something unbelievable and amazing happen in College Station on Wednesday. It snowed. Two beautiful inches of perfect, beautiful, fluffy, made for snowball fights snow. I was beyond deliriously happy. Below are a FEW of the many many pictures I took
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To my Becca, or to me, Becka...

Oh my Becka!!! I love you so much. We talked for 2 HOURS AND 37 MINUTES the other day!!! That for sure was the longest phone conversation we have ever had. Way to go us. I loved our "date". It was by far the best ever. (Say it: "Go Sox!!")

You are such a special person to me. I love that we have been friends so long that I can't remember us not being friends. I love that no matter what is going on in my life, no matter when the last time we talked was, I can always pick up the phone and find you. I am so thankful that I can always count on you and know that you will point me back to the Lord and the Word.

I love looking back and seeing how our friendship has grown and changed over so many years. I have so many memories - happy and not so happy - and so many things that I am thankful to have experienced with you.

I don't know why I like to misspell your name, but it just looks right to me. I don't know why you never say anything, but you don't, and I kind of love that. It is like my special name for you. Weird huh?

I am so thankful that you are the one that has walked through SO many things with me...some that I am sure you thought would never end. (I wondered the same thing too.) I am thankful that I get to watch you and Mike do married life. I love watching you (from afar) be a Mommy. You are a blessing and an encouragement to me. I want you to know that again. I love that now we get to share blogging too.

You have been such a sweet blessing to me since Saturday. I want you to know that. I love you!! Kiss your boys for me!! (Except Mike...just tell him HI when he gets back on Monday!!!)

"There's Only ONE October!!"

So I have a little secret...kind of.

Unless you really know me, or you spend A LOT of time with me, you would probably never guess that I adore baseball...Especially if the Red Sox are playing. Recently, one of my co-workers said to me, " I never would have guessed that you were interested in baseball the first time I met you." It was funny that she said that, but didn't really surprise me. Apparently, I don't have the "I love baseball" girl kind of air. Not sure exactly how I come off the first time people meet me, but apparently it doesn't scream baseball...

All of that to say, the Red Sox are rocking post-season baseball. Their last four games have been great, even the one they lost. There have been extra innings and runs made on 3-2 counts galore. It has been beautiful. I can't wait to see the American League Championship Series and then the World Series start. I can't wait to see the Red Sox running onto the field with the 2008 World Series trophy in hand. I am excited about the games ahead and the wins ahead. So fun!!

There are other things I love about October too...Like the fact that it is finally 95 degrees and not 105 degrees here in Texas. I like that I know at somepoint in the future, I will be able to wear long sleeves and dream about wearing scarves. I like that Christmas is closer. I like that soon it will be cool enought to turn off the ac...which means smaller electric bills. Which is always beautiful.

There is only one downside to this fall, and all the GREAT things in contains. I have to get a flu shot this year. I have NEVER gotten a flu shot....I have had the flu once, a million (or ten) years ago...Not in high school, not in college did I ever get the flu, but this year, I have to. I hate shots!!! So, we will see how it goes...I better not get sick after getting the shot.

Happy Fall

Grownup.

This week I started my first real, official "grown-up" job. Wow that sounds weird. Hmm. So, in the last two days being a grown up has been everything I expected and nothing like what I expected. Make sense?

I love the wonderful people I work with. They are fabulous. I enjoy working in a Doctor's office. It fits my personality I think. I love that there are things to file and paperwork. (I have an odd adoration for paperwork...) There are things I can organize. I get to use a highlighter sometimes. I answer phones. I get to multitask a lot, which is something I love to do. :) All good things. If I had picked from any job, this is the job I would pick for me. This and maybe producer (or something) for Gilmore Girls. I would rock at that too.

At the same time though, I actually miss having too much to do. Crazy huh? Don't get me wrong, I love knowing that when I leave work, I can do whatever I choose with my time and not feel guilty about putting off studying. That is wonderful. I can really enjoy how I use my time without the ever present cloud of school-guilt. So nice. Yet, at the same time, I miss having a directed purpose/goal. I have plenty to do at work, but free time is different. I thought I would have so much free time in the evenings that I would be bored. I have yet to have a free evening. Not complaining. I have LOVED every minute with the wonderful people I have spent my evenings with. It has been a blast so far. But when I do go home there isn't a mile long list of school things to accomplish with an equally long list of personal things to accomplish. I don't think I know what to do with myself. I miss being overly busy. I like having a lot to do. I don't know if that is good. Maybe it is because I want to avoid sitting and being still. I should pray about that.

So, in answer to Shannan's recent question, My goals for this time away from school are:
1. To learn to be quiet and still. Maybe I will learn to truly WAIT on the Lord.
2. To be thankful for the freedom to do things I enjoy and be a wise steward of my time and other resources.
3. I want to learn not to give into the urge to do something solely for the purpose of being busy, or having something else to put on a to-do list.
4. I especially want to use this time to build relationships. I want to be a blessing to others.

So, that it's it....my thoughts so far on growing up.

Funny things!!

I spent much of my day with the Bacaks today. It was lovely. But, today Emma said two things that I thought were great.

1. She "rememberized" the songs she plays on the piano.

Awesome huh?

2. The phrase "In this stage of life" came out of her mouth.

I wanted to laugh so hard that I could have cried. Instead, I tried very hard to NOT laugh, and made a pathetic attempt at following the rest of the conversation, because, let's face it, in my head I was out of breath from laughing so hard.

I love that everyday with the Bacak children is an interesting day. So great!!

That would be nice...

I think I need a pensieve. I don't know how you feel about Harry Potter, but for the moment that is irrelevant. I have read and enjoyed all seven of the books.

I think maybe the coolest thing mentioned in any of the books is a pensieve. A pensieve is a place to store thoughts and memories. There are times when I have nine hundred thoughts running around my brain and I don't know what to do with all of them. If I could just pull a couple out and save them for later that would be wonderful.

Or, if something happened, and you wanted to retain the memory without forgetting the details, if you could pull it out and save it, so that you would never forget and could always "relive" it, that would be nice.

It would be nice if you could have, at your disposal a video display of your memories and thoughts. It would be wonderful. Especially when there is so much jumbled up in your thoughts you don't know what to process first, much less how to stay focused on one thing at a time....

So, if you ever stumble across one of these, get one for me!! Or if someone figures out how to do this, maybe digitally, I think I might be their biggest fan...

That's mostly it for now, except -

It is supposed to be raining right now, so where is the rain??!!

**My roommates hounded me yesterday about updating my blog. So you have them to thank for this post!!**

Car Shopping...

When I went home for the 4th, my parents told me that I need to get ready to buy a new car. So, I am looking for tips, etc.

I will most likely, unless struck my lightening, or being given another car, will buy a Honda! I love mine!! Getting a new one will be nice. But, what questions do I need to ask? Etc...I want you advice!!

Thankful list revision

I was recently made aware of a major oversight in my last posting. I need to fix that!!

So one of my favorite things this year has been having lunch or coffee dates with some of the lovely LH ladies. Probably my most steady lunch companion this semester has been Jenn Harrist. I love this lady!! Okay, I love the whole Harrist family. In the last few months we have started going to dinner after church on Saturday night every couple of weeks! I love that. It is nice to have dinner as part of a family every one in a while. Okay, not that I don't have dinner as part of a super amazing, most wonderful awesome family at least twice a week, but it is nice to be part of other families from LH too. Yay!! I love this community thing!! So, to the Harrists, I apologise for my gross oversight, and I want you to know that i am ABUNDANTLY thankful for you!! I love you all!!

By the way, if you are going to blog stock me, I DEMAND THAT you comment....Jenn Harrist!!!

Thankful...List, Game, etc.

This time of the semester is sometimes really difficult for me. The last few days I have really had to put off some things, like frustration and bad attitudes...so, I have had to work specifically on putting on good things...Things like THANKSGIVING!! (And no, I do not mean the food focused holiday.)
One of my favorite "activities" for the last year and a half or so has been what is affectionately known in our apartment as "the Thankful Game". When we are having unedifying conversation, when we are grumpy or moody, or ANYTHING less than thankful, we play this game. It is wonderful!! We take turns saying things we are thankful for. (What a simple game!!) It doesn't have to be super spiritual, just encouraging. Some of our favorite things to be thankful for around here are (in no particular order):

Living Hope
Sonic drinks
chocolate (for the other girls)
BASEBALL
the RED SOX rocking their games (not in the last week...)
Wise counsel
Community

This game is so much fun, and it is much harder to sin while you are so focused on being thankful. You should all play the thankful game sometime too...

My other favorite, and the "travel companion" to the thankful game, is the individual version, the Thankful List. It's like the thankful game for one. Amazing!! So, here is my thankful list for today...

1. The Bacaks - they bless me abundantly...and they have the cutest kids EVER. Seriously, if God said stay in College Station forever, I would be totally happy as long as I have the Bacak family to hang out with. Wise counsel, love, encouragement and fun...what else could I want?

2. My roommates. I have grown so much these last nine months, so I am thankful for the experiences I have had with these girls.

3. My current/soon to be roomies - Not confusing at all. I will be retaining one current roommate and gaining one new roommate. I am excited to see what the next year will bring!

4. Summer will be here soon - By summer, I mean a short break from school before summer school and sadly, the hot weather too...

5. My super cute bedroom...Tiffany Blue, Black and White Damask...enough said!

6. Living Hope

7. My future job, working for the wonderful Dr. Bacak...

8. Clean Laundry

9. Flip-Flops and the pedicures they necessitate

10. Pretty Dishes

Yay for thankfulness!! Now to bed!!

Spring has arrived!!!

IT'S HERE! IT'S HERE! IT'S FINALLY HERE!!!

Today, I saw the one thing that lets me know Spring has found it's way to Texas!! Oh the joy that welled up in my heart! These things make me want to dance. I love Bluebonnets. There are few things in life as fabulous as an extremely long drive on a sunny (but not hot!!) day with bluebonnets on the roadside and your sunroof open! (It is my firm belief that every car should have a sunroof. It should be the law!!) So yay for bluebonnets!! I love bluebonnets as much as I love snow and cold and fireworks and homemade ice-cream!! I know these things all seem to contradict, but I love them all!!

This picture is what it looks like ALL around my parent's house in the spring. It is absolutely lovely!! Happy Spring!

The beautiful body!

One of my favorite things to see in the body is the Lord doing the same thing in the hearts of people many many miles apart, who more often than not, have never met. This is always so beautiful and such a powerful display of who the Lord is. Not to mention proving that no one is beyond his reach!! Always great!




The case in point here is a body of believers almost 2000 miles away from our body here is CS. Granted, I have never actually been to Church at the Gate, but the time I have spent on their website and reading their pastor's church blog, has blown me away. It is so wonderful to see that the Lord is doing in Boston what he is doing here in College Station. Not only that, but people are responding!!



So often, people think that LH is nuts for some of the things we do as a body, and the way in which we cling to the Word. If this die to yourself, learn to love community and live on the Word way of life is crazy here, in ultra-conservative, hard-core republican Texas, how much more nuts must it seem in the middle of Boston? I can't imagine!!



The Lord is doing amazing things in this body many many miles away from us. We see A&M as a huge mission field, and don't get me wrong, it certainly is, but how much more of a mission field there must be with 60 colleges and universities within 60 square miles!! I am so excited about the opportunities this body has, and the way I see the Lord teaching them the same exact things he is teaching LH. This body in Boston is one of my favorite things to pray for right now! (That and praying that the Red Sox will win the '08 World Series!!)



1If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, 2then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. 3Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. 4Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.
Philippians 2:1-4 NIV

Where I want to be today...

...On a side note, today is the 265th anniversary of the very first TOWN MEETING held in Boston!! (I bet it was gilmore-esk, except with every one in puritanical clothing...and probably not so many laughs...Sad.)

Spring Break and catch up posting...

It is finally spring break people!!! How wonderful is that? I know it is closer to over than beginning, but still it is spring break!! That is something to rejoice about!! So yay for spring break!!

In the most exciting news I have had recently, I made a GOOD grade on my latest accounting test!! That is totally a miracle from the Lord. I went up three whole letter grades from my first test. Totally amazing!!

Summer is coming up!! Aside from the impending massive amounts of summer school, I am really looking forward to that...except for the incredibly high Texas temperatures. And it's looking like I'm gonna be around CS for quite a bit longer...so get excited...

I am getting sleepy now, so I will (once again) put of posting what I have been meaning to post for months. Happy Spring Break!!

Aggie Baseball...

If you haven't read the title for this post, can you guess what happens on Friday at 6:30pm CST??

The Aggie Baseball Team will be playing their first home game of the year!! So exciting, and such cheap tickets...seriously, NO ONE should pass this up. I think I am going to try and convince my roomies and neighbors that going would have great health benefits....namely me not lamenting about how I wish I was there all evening...in the hopes that we could go as a group! We'll see how that approach goes I guess. :)

Who knows?

Right about now, I should be studying, or doing my living by the book homework. So, of course I am finding it the perfect time to update the blog.

I just saw the pic of me and Treston. It's a good one (you have BEAUTIFUL kids Jenn!!), but it has been there for a while, so I should find a new one to put up. So for those of you who manage to sneak in pics of me when I don't realize it, let me know, so I can use one of those for the blog and for one of my classes too.

I was reading today in Deut. about how the Lord carried Isreal out of Egypt and through the desert like a father. Such a beautiful picture. I love all that I have been learning about what a biblical father/daughter relationship should look like. I Deut. 1:29:37, it talks about how the Lord was with Isreal, went before them, fought for them, and carried them through. How incredible! I love the imagery now that I have seen this acted out between a father and his children. (Thanks Rusty!)

What is scary is what comes afterward though. Isreal forgot all the things the Lord had done for them. The became ungreatful and uncontent. How often do I do that? How often do I forget all the Lord has done in my life, and begin to grumble and be discontent? (My roommates would probably say more than I would like to admit to.) I hate that. I want to work on having a thankful heart that remembers what the Lord has done for me, and that he has already provided all I need.

You could use some Baseball...

I can not wait for Baseball to start up again. Last night after church, we went out with a group of fun people from living hope. So much fun. Bekah and I got to meet Darby, who plays Aggie baseball!! How fun!! Their season starts Feb. 22nd and I can't wait!!!!

I do have some super sad news though. I just checked the Red Sox schedule to see if tickets were available for the games with the Rangers...they are but, the series has been moved to Boston. So sad. So not only do I not get to watch Baseball when I go home for the wedding, I will totatlly be wishing I was in Boston. So sad.

Let's go Sox!!

First, I must say, that it's finally acting like it might be winter. Amazing!!

So a new semester has commenced. I have an amazing class schedule, and am getting to pull out some new school supplies. (Gotta love sharpies and "fun" pens!) Today I got two new "supplies"...

...you should have seen the happy dance I did when the FedEx guy knocked on my door. (I know he was freaked out by my random display of excitement.) For those of you who don't know about Sam Moon, or sammoon.com, go check it out!! This is the greatest place for super cute, super cheap accessories etc. I got these bags for $25.00 total I think. That is a great deal!!

The other exciting thing that I have to announce is that the RED SOX!!! will be playing the Rangers the weekend of my brother's wedding. Not only are my two favorite teams playing one another - which is great because I am happy no matter who wins (even though I love the Sox a little more) - but they are playing in Arlington. Which means that I could totally make at least one game if not two. (Three if I skipped the wedding, but that might be frowned upon. Then again, I might not even be missed...) How great is that? I am so excited!! Let's go Sox!!

In the midst of the storm...

So apparently, I have become one of those people who has a blog, and intends to post stuff, but never does. Probably because I am blog-stocking all of you. Great. But I am posting now, so Yay! (Jenn, you won't have to take my link off, because I am no longer an idle blogger...)

The last six weeks has been hard for me, and the Lord seems to just keep turning up the heat. (Not fun, but bring it Lord, teach me what you want me to learn and refine what needs to be refined.)

Last semester was so crazy busy for me, that I was desperately hoping to find rest and respite at home over the break. Instead, I had to grow up in an unexpected way. My grandmother, whom I love so much, was super sick for so long. It was a blessing to be able to walk through that hard time with her, and spend some time with her, but it was hard to see her hurting and to have our roles reversed.

With my time at home finally over, I came back to College Station looking to escape yet again. I keep looking for an escape and the Lord just keeps throwing things in my lap. So, while I can't give details, there are three very specific issues that I am in the midst of. I desperately need each of your prayers. Pray that the Lord would first and foremost, glorify himself in these things, and that His will would be accomplished. Please pray that I would have patience, love, no fear, gentleness, wisdom and clarity.

The Lord has reminded me time and again, that the circumstances themselves are insignificant. I just need to wait on him. He is ALL I need, my plentiful portion. Psalms has been such a comfort to me through this. I am clinging to the fact that he has ordained each of my days and the HE is hemming me in. What a beautiful thought in the midst of such a storm...

Where are you?

I have wanted to do this for ages. I am sure you will all think I am goofy, but I want to know who YOU are. I randomly go check my sitemeter, and everytime I wonder who all these people are who are reading my blog? Where do you come from? I can't imagine that anything I have to say is interesting. It always catches me off guard when someone says "Oh yeah, I read that on your blog." Everytime I say "You read my blog??!!" It is fun to hear that, but I see a list on site meter and don't have a face to connect to it. So, I want to know who you are. If you have a blog too, let me know so I can visit you back!!
Merry Christmas!!