There is something amazing about bubblebaths....They are so nice. I don't care what your day has been like or what is on your mind, a bubblebath can take it away...Taking a bubblebath makes you feel so decadent and feminine...In a way that probably nothing else can do. I don't know what it is about seeing painted toenails poking out of a million bubbles that makes you feel girlie, but it does...
Anyway, moving along. I bought my first scarf of the year yesterday!! I am so excited about winter and Christmas this year. I hope that it gets cold enough in Texas that I will be able to wear a scarf. I don't know what it is about winter in general and Christmas specifically that is so enthralling to me. I think it is just the magic of it all. I mean someone being born to die for me. It is the best time to cuddle. The snow is so beautiful and enticing. I think maybe I love this time of year so much because it is when I feel closest to being a child again. I get to do all the adult stuff too, but it is okay to have a child's heart at Christmas. I have an especially childlike heart. I get so excited by the most simple things. "Fun" pens, Christmas lights, snow, bubblewrap...The list is really long. I am such a child at heart. I get to be most like my true inner self at Christmas. I am myself all year long, but I think I just dig a bit deeper into myself at Christmas time, like I find something that isn't there the rest of the year. I am swept away by the magic. I love the feeling that it is Christmas and there is hope and safety and peace and that you are loved by so many people. It is breathtaking. I think I am in love with Christmas...
Have a great night!
Friday, October 27, 2006
Happy Friday! So glad it is finally here. I have company coming in for the weekend and studying to do, so I am sure it will go by all too quickly, as usual. Get excited!! Christmas is coming!! I have three gifts and some stocking stuffers left to buy. At least I already know what I am getting for the gifts and I have all of the gifts that I have already bought wrapped and labeled!! Whoop!! I am so excited!! And it seems like we might actually have a winter here this year! I bought some new flannel sheets today in anticipation of this. Very Exciting!! I was just contemplating possibly buying a REAL winter coat (which is extremely rarely necessary) but I would like to have one for future and if I get an opportunity to wear it once or twice this year, then so much the better. And I predict that I will get to wear my really cool, extremely long, maroon scarf too! I am really looking forward to that...Anyway, company's here so have a great weekend...I hope you get to sleep in cause I won't get to... :( Sad Day.... Night!
Thursday, October 26, 2006
So, I wore a pair of incredibly uncomfortable shoes to observe in this morning, due to the shoe comment...I got out of my car at the school and as I walked up to the building, the bottom part of both heels starts disintegrating....apparently that was payback for mentioning the "silent expectation"....I don't know, but it sucked...have a great day!
I have been a girl for my entire 21 years, but this morning I had a startling revelation. Apparently, it is expected that if you are to wear a shoe with heels you must be in an ungodly amount of pain. I realized this when I thought back on something that happened exactly one week ago (give or take a few hours). I was observing and a little girl looked at me as I passed by her desk, and asked me "Why do you always wear those shoes?" (In my defense I have only observed 4 times and they are my FAVORITE black strappy heels, which I don't wear frequently.) So I tell her that I wear them because they are my favorite, because I have finally managed to find a cute shoe that doesn't kill my feet, even after 3 hrs of walking around her classroom. What does she do? Looks at me like I am crazy. So apparently, heels are supposed to be painful. Why doesn't someone just realize women would be much happier if their feet didn't hurt constantly.
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
It rained again today. It was nice. So I have recently begun to realize that "adult life" is beginning. I have started thinking about things like life insurance and savings. Things that my parents took care of until now. Thankfully I don't have to worry about medical insurance or car insurance yet, but I will within a few years. No, I don't currently have a life insurance policy (my parents have one for me) but I have started to realize building my savings is important. Life is a lot of big choices. How do you ever know for sure that you have made THE right choice? Not just a good choice, but the best possible choice? I don't know. I have only felt absolutely certain of that twice.
Saturday, October 21, 2006
Hi! It is Saturday!! Yea!! So I must say, I am having a horrible time with my math 142 class...I feel like I am drowning. It is good to get that out finally but still hasn't solved the problem. :( Sad Day. As a "future educator" I am most definitely a History/Lit person. I basically really struggle with math and don't find science pleasant in the least. It just doesn't completely click, I can never remember it, for some reason. I don't know why. I am not an unintelligent person. I am not DaVinci or Einstein, and I doubt that I would qualify for a membership in MENSA; but I am not stupid. So, it completely discourages and frustrates me that I can't "get" math....Yahhhhhh... So this morning I once more played the role of "stand-in parent" and took Cami to gymnastics at the Flip-Flop Factory. It wasn't bad. And Steve payed me very well for getting up early and taking her. That was nice. I am enjoying fall. It has been really nice so far...it has come at the most opportune moment for me too. And, of course, it makes me constantly think of Boston (as if I don't anyway...) Okay, seriously it is ridiculous how long it takes me and the majority of my friends to come up with some place to eat...I mean come on....It has been 30 mins since we started discussing this and still haven't made a decision...Moving on... So sometime this week I am going to be calling a lady from the BTR. I am excited and a bit nervous too. I hope I can remember all of the things I want to ask and get some helpful information in return. I really want this to work out. You know, now that I think about it, there are a lot of things in my life that I really want to work out. That is what I like about being 21. There is a life full of possibilities in front of me. I have the opportunity to see things work themselves out right in front of me. I like that. I just need to learn a bit of patience to make the journey more enjoyable. Have a great weekend.
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
Today was so much better than yesterday!! Whoop for that. I briefly played in the rain this afternoon. It was great. I wish I could have spent more time out in it, just enjoying life. It was nice and very refreshing. And now I am about to watch a movie!! I must say I love netflix. Kudos to whomever came up with the idea. However, I am sure the money they are making is saying that quite clearly. Anyway, I am going to go watch a movie and listen to the rain. :)
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
Today, my day lived up to Daniel Powter's song "Bad Day". This morning was really good actually, apart from the huge hovering disagreement between my roommate and I. Then this afternoon after class, I step out of the elevator in the garage to walk to my car, and right in front of my car, a girl had just been hit. I mean JUST been hit. I got there before the UPD and the EMS...It was so scary. I watched them take care of the girl and fill out the reports, and finally, clean up all the bloody mess left behind...I sat and watched the driver of the car, crying hysterically, on the verge of a break down. It basically rocked my world. I have always harbored this illusion that I was safe on campus, maybe not anywhere else, but surely on the campus of Texas A&M University, I was safe. No harm could befall me there, right? Talk about shattering a dream....I am still overwhelmed by what I saw... And then to top it off, I find out we have "uniforms" to wear to work now...to work with kids...two shirts to last all week..Seriously. I don't know. I am just so overwhelmed by this afternoon. I sincerely wish tonight, that I was in a relationship, because I desperately need to be held. I want to cuddle and forget everything else. I want to leave school, and work, and mainly, freak accidents behind. I want to forget it all and just be close to someone I love.
Thursday, October 12, 2006
I love rainy days! They are usually the best. (unless it means you must walk across all 5 miles of campus....which turns into mudfest...). Today is a rainy day. I got completely soaked running to my car after work. It was great. Granted, I am not in love with being totally soaked all the time, but when it is raining, its okay, as long as you can change quickly. Anyway, I am so excited about the rain I just wanted to share! I hope your day is as great as mine.
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
So I did my advising for this spring and was so happy to have finally nailed down an official final graduation date!! Whoop!! I am so ready to move! I heard on the radio today that it will be snowing in Boston by the weekend. I wish I was there!! I am so ready to graduate so I can teach and be in the real world, not the college world, even though college is fun!
Sunday, October 08, 2006
Okay, so I have been going on and on about how far away graduation seems, for what seems like an eternity. Finally I have found something that makes me feel better, more ahead in the game. This weekend I had a friend from home staying with me because she wants to come to A&M. She graduated from high school in may of this year. She is so excited about coming down here, just like I was. It was like seeing me three years ago. Seeing her as a freshman, I do feel I have accomplished a lot and like graduation probably isn't that far away. FINALLY!!! I didn't think I would ever feel this way. I am so thankful!! Have a great day!!
Monday, October 02, 2006
Hey! So I went to dinner with the girls tonight...such fun. When I got home, I had a friend request waiting on facebook. A friend from a long time ago. His sister and I used to be really good friends. So I went to check out his myspace page and of course she is there too...She is married now and expecting, and extremely blessed. I have so many people that I knew from highschool that are now married and either have kids or will soon. I am so happy for them. I am glad they are happy, at least I hope they are. But there is always that tug that says "I want that too". Usually I just push it away, but tonight I am going to let it linger. It makes me sad that there isn't anything I can do to make it happen. It is amazing how complicated and multi-layered human emotion is. I truly want to be married. I want to have children. I want to be a mommy. I want someone to hold me, someone to support me. At the same time, I realize now probably isn't the time for it. I know that if that came now, my life would be completely different that what it would be other wise. I suppose to an extent that this is true of whatever age you marry, but it seems that the last 3 years and maybe the two is when that will be most true. Amazing huh. It is like a war inside myself...the urge to be in a relationship, to be married vs. the sensible decision to wait. I don't understand and can't explain. Although, since I don't really have guys just lining up to ask me out, the issue is more an issue of desire than reality...I don't know, all I know is that tonight is one of those night that I just want to be held...
Have a great night.
Have a great night.